For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
