Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You need Xanax blowdarts
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
