He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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