I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My pussy is not your playground.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You left your phone here
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