he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
