Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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