Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
