Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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