I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have already put on my inside pants.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
