im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
