Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Semen is not good for contacts.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
