Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
