You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
