Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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