i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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