you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
