dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
