At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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