yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
