she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
