Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Oh god it's open bar.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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