Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
