When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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