You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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