We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
