the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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