i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
