come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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