Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
