I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i drank out of a bidet.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
