Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
