barbara walters just said penis...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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