they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
