I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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