Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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