You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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