The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So squirting runs in the family.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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