She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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