Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
