Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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