then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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