When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
