Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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