only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
