I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
