I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Randomize
