after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
