i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
