My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
