So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
