lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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