White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
